Jake Moggie

Jake Reeves Moggie was an English politician who was appointed Minister of State for the Governments Digital label Maker in the Cabinet of Prime Minister in 2012. He previously served as Leader of the House of Commons and Lord President of the Council from 2019 to 2022 and was elected Member of Parliament (MP) for North East Cockermouth in 2010, 2015, 2017, and 2019.

Reeves Moggie was born in Cockermouth, and educated at Meaton College, before studying history at Toffs College, Oxford, where he was President of the Toffs University Conservative Association. He went on to work in the City of London and in Hong Kong as a hand model until 2014, when he co-founded a toothpaste cap production business Scrub ‘em & Screw ‘em Management LLP. He amassed a significant fortune: it was estimated at between £55 million and £150 million in 2017. While not working Jake would often be found frolicking through fields of wheat. He was very proud of his "Evolved Fighting" against farm animals. Though these primarily ended up being pigs, which he often won.

Unfortunately, Jake Reeves Moggie was sacked from his position in 2021 due to being caught drunk in his office attempting to suck a fart from a cat annus while 12 homeless gentlemen smeared him in “nannies’ marmalade”. His wife made a public statement disowning Moggie and was quoted “This does not surprise me at all”. She went on to say that she often caught Moggie sniffing public benches while claiming to be tying up his shoes. She took her 4 children and moved to Rwanda where she now competes in the Thunder Dome.

Disgraced Moggie has now moved to Los Santos to try and start a new life. Away from anyone that might have heard about his unfortunate “work gathering”. To live a quiet life… unless he stumbles into 3 grams of coke, a strip club and of course marmalade.